


The Wrong Gift

by Grania



Category: Les Misérables (2012)
Genre: A bit of swearing, Gen, and tasering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-08
Updated: 2013-03-08
Packaged: 2017-12-04 16:21:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/712683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grania/pseuds/Grania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the promtp on lj: http://makinghugospin.livejournal.com/11823.html?replyto=3724079</p>
<p>Marius wants to be funny but isn't and single-handedly manages to break Joly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Wrong Gift

Grantaire sometimes said, when he had a lucid moment, that it was nothing short of a wonder that Marius was one of their friends.  
Courfeyrac then usually added that it was a wonder that Marius was still alive.  
And Combeferre then usually changed the subject, because they did not like to talk about that episode.  
Not the episode where Courfeyrac had brought Marius to the Café Musain for the first time, and the idiot had had nothing better to do than hold a speech about the superiority of the UMP, and Enjolras had threatened to shove his foot down Marius’ throat. That episode was actually quite funny, especially when Bahorel and Courfeyrac were in the mood and reenacted said confrontation.  
No, Combeferre changed the subject because they did not want to talk about the episode with Joly and the book, at least not in his presence.  
Of course they did talk about it when he and Bossuet were not around, because the scene where Musichetta chased a crying Marius through the Jardin du Luxembourg with her pocket taser was just too funny to not reenact.  
In his defence let it be said that he was not a malicious person, far from it, just very, annoyingly, unbelievably, exhaustingly clueless.

It all started four weeks after Marius’ first visit at the Musain. Combeferre had calmed down Enjolras and Courfeyrac had coaxed back Marius, and they all had great fun to teach the lonely rich boy their politics, especially because he was an eager student, painfully shy but excited to make new friends.  
It was after one of their meetings long into the night, when they had stopped to talk about the revolution hours ago and had turned to drinking, those who did, anyway, and chatting about their lives and other nonsense.  
Marius had gone to the bathroom, and when he came back he ran into Joly in the half-lit corridor to their room.  
“There you are, Doctor Jolllly!”, he exclaimed loudly, obviously in a good-mood and maybe a bit tipsy. “I was just thinking of you today!”  
“That’s flattering, I guess”, Joly smiled, and tried to pass him, but Marius resolutely grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the coat hooks next to the door.  
“When I walked back from my lectures I saw the book shop near St. Sulpice had a sale and the first book in the basket was this and I thought of you immediately, because you’re a doctor and you’re funny and you always talk about such things and it was only two euros and one day, when you have a practice of your own you can put it in the waiting room to amuse your patients.”  
After a few drinks Marius notoriously had problems with syntax, but his bright smile and his almost glowing cheeks spoke for him, and he did not see how Joly tensed for a second.  
“That’s...thank you, Marius”, Joly managed and smiled. “That’ll be fun to read.”  
“You’re welcome”, Marius grinned, whirled around, steadied himself on the wall, and walked back to the others.

The other friends did not notice any of this short, rather one-sided dialogue, and they did not see how Joly hid the book in his bag and silently went back to his place between Bossuet and Feuilly. In fact, Joly kept the book well-hidden from everybody, even Bossuet and Musichetta, and of course nobody suspected anything when he missed the next meeting, thinking that it was one of his short episodes. They joked and Bossuet went home earlier to look after his not-sick friend, and Marius did not think for one second that it might have to do with his gift.

The friends first started to suspect that something was very wrong when a hysterical Bossuet called Combeferre one evening, telling that Joly had been admitted to a mental hospital by his doctor when Bossuet had been at work.  
As with every emergency concerning one of their friends, the leaders of the group took over the helm and Combeferre, Enjolras and Courfeyrac went with Bossuet to the Bicêtre.  
They admitted, much later, that it had been scarier than any clash with the police ever, scarier even than a police questioning by Javert, because they could not do anything and because it broke their heart to see Joly heavily sedated and drooling over his chin. His arms were bandaged as he had scratched them until they bled, and the doctor told them that he had suffered a nervous breakdown, caused by the assumption that he was suffering from Loiasis, a skin disease caused by worms. Musichetta, who had come straight from work and still wore her waitress uniform looked it up on her phone and almost had to stay too when she broke out in hysterical sobs and shook Joly like a doll.  
“It’s only in Africa!”, she shrieked. “You fucking idiot! It’s not even possible!”  
Enjolras tore her back and the doctor cleared his throat audibly.  
“Ahm...it was not just Loiasis...he also thought he had a brain tumor and the Werner syndrome...of course he has neither, he’s perfectly healthy, apart from the...you know...you should have come much earlier.”

Neither Combeferre nor Enjolras saw Marius turn white as a sheet the day after Joly’s admittance, when they explained it to the rest of the group in the Musain.  
They did not know that these were all illnesses described on the first ten pages of his book, and he did not say it.  
Joly was released after two days with a pack of happy-makers and an appointment with a psychiatrist. He was almost his old self again, or at least he tried, but of course his friends treated him like a raw egg and Musichetta and Bossuet had cleared their schedules so that he would never be unsupervised, thus he was constantly reminded of his sorry state.

Joly did not tell anybody about the book, maybe because he knew what might happen to Marius if he did, and instead only resolved to throw it away once he got home.  
Unfortunately he never got that far, instead it was Musichetta who found it and took vengeance in her own hands.  
Bossuet had fetched him from the Bicêtre earlier in the day and invited him to an ice cream in the Jardin du Luxembourg where they met Bahorel, Grantaire, Jehan and Courfeyrac and forgot time.  
It was rather awkward, even though, or maybe because, Jehan tried to lighten up the atmosphere, but it took a turn to the worse when Musichetta came.  
It is important to know that Musichetta was beautiful, and that she knew it, and that she liked to dedicate a lot of time to bring out that beauty. So it was almost frightening to see her run through the Jardin du Luxembourg, past thousands of people, in a sweater, Bossuet’s shabbiest sneakers on her feet and with her hair untangled and held back by a scrunchie, as if she had just run out of bed.  
“What the fuck is that?”, she hollered when she was at least 250 metres away and immediately had the attention of everybody around them.  
Bahorel and Jehan flinched and shoved their chairs away from the table.  
“What. The. Fuck. Is. That?”, she hollered again and pulled a book out of her bag. “What is wrong with you? We do everything for you, we take care of you, and you just fucking...Do you like to trigger yourself? Is this some sort of sick game?”  
She slammed the book on the table, not caring that she spilled ice cream and soda. She looked at the same time fear- and pitiful, her anger had distorted her pretty face, she seemed ready to use violence against anybody who crossed her path, but there were tears shining in her eyes and tried tear streaks all over her cheeks.  
“Why?”, she sobbed and knelt down next to Joly. “Why would you do this?”  
Bossuet fished the book out of his ice cream and examined it with a look of utter disappointment, but as the level-headed one in their relationship he did not jump on Joly like Musichetta.  
“I found it in your bag”, she told with a breaking voice. “I didn’t want...I don’t search through your stuff, you know that, but the lid was open and I saw the title and I...and I...”  
“I’m so sorry, I’m so terribly, terribly sorry”, Joly murmured and took her head between his hands and kissed her wet cheeks.  
“Why would you even buy something like that? That’s not you, Joly, that’s...”  
“It was a gift.”  
Joly might have kept the book a secret, had he had enough time to destroy it on his own, but now, seeing Musichetta’s hysteria and Bossuet’s disappointment he did not think twice about sacrificing Marius, he just wanted them to love him again.  
“What?” Bossuet dropped the book back on the table.  
“He thought I’d like it, he said I could put it in the waiting room of my practice one day and he was so happy and I couldn’t just give it back....”  
“Who?”, Musichetta asked, and it was amazing how much wrath she could put in that one word.  
“Don’t be too hard on him”, Joly tried to calm her down. “He didn’t mean to...and it’s also my fault. I knew I shouldn’t open it but then I did and it was like...like..”  
“Who?”, Bossuet repeated the question.  
Joly sighed. “Marius.”  
The name brought the four spectators closest to the three lovers back to life.  
“Fucking Pontmercy!”, Bahorel cursed and banged his fist on the table. Jehan looked devastated and close to tears while Courfeyrac had his eyes closed, probably regretting the day he had forced himself into Marius’ life and Grantaire simply seemed more sober than any of them had ever witnessed.

Then Musichetta screamed, just screamed, high-pitched, without words, like a siren, an avenging angel, not to Joly or Bossuet or anyone in particular, and then she ran off.  
They sat for a few seconds, too stunned to react, until they saw that she did not just run back but that she turned left and took course to a group of benches behind a patch of lawn. Jehan was the first to recognize the danger.  
“‘Chetta!”, he shouted and it was the sign for all of them to run after the screaming woman.  
It was quite easy to recognize Marius, once they knew he was there, but they had not seen him before and Marius seemed to be fully immersed in a book. He looked up when he heard the screaming and flinched, book falling to the ground, when he saw that it was Musichetta.  
He held out his hands, walked a few steps in Musichetta’s direction, looking truly devastated, and opened his mouth to explain.  
“I kill you, you son of a bitch!”, Musichetta screamed and suddenly had a taser in her hand.  
Marius’ eyes widened with fear and he stumbled back, but only when he heard the buzz of the electric charge and saw the metal sticks trying to poke him did he turn away and run as fast as he could.  
“Please, ‘Chetta”, he shrieked. “I can explain!”  
She pulled the trigger but the wires did not hit him and instead fell to the ground a few steps behind him. Now Marius screamed too and he doubled his pace and managed to get quite far while Musichetta fished a new cartridge out of her bag but her fury gave her wings and soon he was running for his life again, over the roads and the grass, passing benches and people sunbathing on the ground, jumping over flower beds and running zig zag through the park.  
“I’m sorry”, he cried. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”  
Musichetta did not scream anymore, she used all her breath to run after Marius, and when, from somewhere behind her, a girl shouted something, causing Marius to stop as if he had run against a wall, she did not hesitate and pulled the trigger again and this time she hit her target.  
With a groan Marius fell to the ground, twitching and arching helplessly as electric shocks hit his body.  
Behind Musichetta the girl shouted again and then she was by her side, a flash of white cotton and golden hair, and knocked the taser out of her hands.  
“Stop it!”, the girl screamed. “Don’t hurt him!”  
“This is not your business”, Musichetta snarled and pushed her back.  
The girl shrieked and stumbled out of Musichetta’s reach, but she seemed determined to stay with Marius.  
“Leave him alone! I...I call the police!”  
The threat finally cooled down Musichetta a few degrees, though she was still fuming, and she looked around. The people in the park had stopped in their activities and were all staring at them, though only the girl had dared to step between Musichetta and Marius. Some held camera phones up and seemed very pleased with what they were taping. From around the corner in front of her, her friends finally caught up with them.  
Courfeyrac, Jehan and Bahorel knelt down to a groggy Marius while Joly and Bossuet caught Musichetta. Grantaire took a close-up of Marius with his phone.  
“That asshole!”, Musichetta panted. “I will kill him! He’s a dead man!”  
“‘Chetta!”, Joly tried to intervene and held her by an arm, stroking her back.  
Bahorel and Courfeyrac hauled Marius in a standing position again, keeping his twitching limbs in place. He seemed to be half-way conscious again and looked frightened between Musichetta and the girl in the white dress.  
“I’m sorry”, he murmured. “I didn’t know it was that bad. I...”  
“It wasn’t a very good idea”, Jehan scolded him.  
“I know and I’m so sorry, please...”  
“We should go home”, Courfeyrac interrupted. “Just...let’s go to my place and talk things out. Not here.”  
Musichetta panted and glared wordlessly at Marius.  
“Okay”, she finally spat and picked up the taser.  
The outsider in their small circle still had not left and was intently looking at Marius, who had blushed up to his hair.  
“Are you okay?”, she asked softly, as if the question should not be heard by the others.  
“Yes, thank you”, he managed. “Thank you for helping me.”  
She smiled and flashed a row of pearly white teeth. “No problem. I’ve often seen you sitting on that bench...and I thought I should help you...”  
Marius laughed softly, leaning on Courfeyrac. “And I’ve often seen you...sometimes with your father....”  
They smiled at each other while the rest of them stared with open mouths, not believing their eyes, until Bossuet exploded.  
“Are you flirting?”, he hollered and let go of Musichetta. Marius flinched and his smile vanished.  
“No, I...”  
“Joly was in the hospital because of you!”  
Later, that incident would be fondly remembered by the friends as the only moment when Bossuet had ever lost his temper.  
“I know...”  
“Because you are too stupid to function!”  
With every statement his voice rose and he stepped closer to Marius.  
“I know, I...”  
“And you haven’t even apologized yet.”  
“I wan...”  
“And you flirt with her?” Bossuet looked positively mad and spat the word out like dirt as he pointed over to the girl, who in vain tried to say something too.  
“I jus...”  
Marius could not finish his excuse because Bossuet’s fist forcefully met his chin and he went out like a light, slipping through the grip of Bahorel and Coufeyrac who were too shocked to keep him up.  
Everybody stared at Bossuet, who was whimpering and rubbing his knuckles, and only the girl bothered to look after the passed out Marius. From the sideline Grantaire cheered and held his phone higher.

They only avoided the police thanks to Courfeyrac’s diplomacy, when he convinced the girl to let them go, promised to protect Marius from the two maniacs, and also gave her Marius’ number so she could check on him later.  
Marius did not dare to make another attempt at apologizing, and instead waited a day to visit the lion’s den with Courfeyrac, the only one of his friends who still held to him.  
He brought a cake and they sat together on the couch. The recharged taser was on the windowsill, next to a pot of flowers and a porcelain snail, like another piece of decoration. His eyes often flickered over to the weapon and he barely managed two bites of the cake, but his heartfelt apology to Joly and his genuine sadness to be the cause of his suffering, not to mention the way he tried to avoid moving his jaw and the greenish bruise blooming on his face that made him look like a kicked puppy, convinced Joly to forgive him. Just like Bossuet he was not resentful and believed Marius that he did not mean any harm. Musichetta on the other hand was less forgiving and treated him coldly for a long time.  
Marius tried to avoid the Musain but Courfeyrac had none of that and forced him to come back. The friends forgave him too, after giving him a piece of their minds, and Enjolras did not stop Grantaire from putting his video up on youtube (but Combeferre forced him later to delete it), and when the bruises on Joly’s arms finally faded, everything was fine again.

They did not know yet that the girl that had rescued Marius was also the girl he had adored from a distance for months.  
They did also not know that she would later become his girlfriend, and indirectly the cause for the second bruise by a fist on Marius’ pristine face, but that is another story for another time.

**Author's Note:**

> UMP = union pour un mouvement populaire, right-wing party in France, lost the last elections to the PS (Parti socialiste) and François Hollande.
> 
> In my headcanon, modern!Gillenormand is in the FN (Front National), Marius, after moving out, is for the UMP until he meets the friends, who of course support a party on the far left.


End file.
